Have a Bitchin' Festivus, from the Wagner brood! My, how the offspring embiggen. Pascale (the curious one) is six and a half, and Frances (the snuggly one) is almost four!

Pascale says: A true, true friend helps a friend in need!

Frances says: BRRRR. I GOTTA GET THAT. BRRRR.

We wish you a Frantic First with your creepy Uncle Frank and underage girlfriend!

Love,

Jamie, Tyler, Pascale, Frances, and Spreckles (our tree)